Can't Do This
by Kick Me Awake
Summary: "I can't do this!" "Can't do what?" "I CAN'T DO YOU!" "...Excuse me?" -Duncan/Courtney- Oneshot


…**I haven't done a Total Drama fanfic in… (goes to profile and looks) like five months. So, sorry if I'm a little bit rusty. I've been channeling my nonexistent writing skills into Harry Potter…so go read those, too :D**

**And just a little warning beforehand, Duncan and Courtney are both quite OOC. Sorry about that :P And no, Total Drama **_**did not **_**happen. **

**Disclaimer: Luckily, I don't own Total Drama, because it's quite terrible really :b **

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><p>"Duncan, will you calm down?" Courtney said, rolling her eyes at him.<p>

"You expect me to _calm down_?" Duncan asked incredulously. "We're going to see your parents, Courtney! Your _parents_."

"Why yes, yes we are. That's very observant Duncan," Courtney replied sardonically. Courtney saw him roll his teal eyes and she gently wrapped her arms around Duncan. "I love you."

"Well, good," he huffed. Courtney looked at him expectantly, which caused him to sigh. "I love you, too, Princess."

Courtney smiled and pecked his lips for good measure, which instantly brightened his mood, although not by much. She looked over to Duncan and saw him breathing heavily with his eyes closed. Courtney laughed at his strange tactics, resulting in Duncan glaring at her menacingly.

"You know, it's probably not gonna be as bad as you anticipate it," she consoled. Duncan rolled his eyes yet again.

"Oh yeah? Remember the first time I met your parents? They scanned me with a metal detector," he deadpanned. "It freakin' sucked. You know why? Because—"

"Because you had piercings _everywhere_. It was _your_ fault that you didn't bother to take them off before going over," Courtney recalled. "Now quit being such a big baby, and _suck it up_."

"You're lucky to have it so easy, Court. My parents _love _you," Duncan said enviously.

"That's because I haven't done anything to make them hate me," Courtney retorted with an arched eyebrow.

"True, but did you see how your dad was giving me the evil eye that one time?" Duncan asked throwing his hands up. "It was…God, it was so creepy."

Courtney took his hand and rubbed small circles on it with her thumb. Duncan lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it a few times before letting it drop.

"If you keep thinking that it's going to bad, then _it's going to be bad_," Courtney warned with a steely gaze.

When they were halfway there, Duncan stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and his eyes widened and seemed to take the shape of two large saucers.

"Oh God, I can't do this," he panted.

"Can't do what?"

"I CAN'T DO _YOU_!"

"…Excuse me?" Courtney questioned with an arched eyebrow. Duncan shook his head and stared at her.

"Not what I meant, Courtney…Oh my God, they're going to kill me. Jesus Christ why did I agree to do this?" Duncan hyperventilated. Courtney stared at him in alarm and grabbed his shoulders. She tried to shake him out of his hysterics but it still didn't seem to work. Instead, she grabbed his face and kissed him neatly on the lips.

"Repeat after me," Courtney stated to his face. "My name is Duncan James Scott."

"My name is Duncan James Scott."

"Courtney's parents are _not_ going to kill me."

"Courtney's parents are not going to kill me," Duncan repeated with a calmer voice. She patted his cheek like a child.

"Good boy," she said. Duncan gulped at the sight of the large door in front of them. He raised his fist to the door and knocked twice, waiting for someone to open the door.

"Courtney, Duncan!" Courtney's mother greeted. "How are you two? Come in, come in!"

"Hi Mom," Courtney said with a kiss on the cheek. Duncan hugged his mother-in-law and kissed her cheek as well.

"Come on in, your dad's in the living room," she gestured.

After all the kisses and hugs were exchanged, Courtney's father went right down to business. "So, what brings you two kids here?"

"Court, wanna tell them what's going on?" Duncan asked while lacing his fingers through hers.

"Mom, Dad…" she looked over at Duncan, who sighed and then nodded encouragingly. "I'm pregnant. Duncan and I are having a baby!"

Duncan stared at his father-in-law. If looks could kill, Duncan wouldn't even know where'd he be.

Oh shit.

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><p><strong>I want to say I need a Total Drama beta, but I barely do anything for them anymore. <strong>

**Okay, so that was slightly shorter than I anticipated. But hey, don't blame me! I haven't cracked around with this fandom lately. Sorry (:**

**Please review. And please don't favorite without reviewing D: It makes me feel all annoyed on the inside…and the outside, too I suppose (:**

**Love lovezz,  
>Kick<strong>

**P.S. Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you guys to go vote for Tom Felton and Darren Criss for the Teen Choice Awards! :D Tom for Best Villain, and DCriss for Best Breakout Star. So go be totally awesome and VOTE FOR THEM DAMMIT! :O **


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